Tag Archive: marriage


Ted EvansThe world is searching for happiness! People quit their secure jobs, leave their spouse and are constantly unsettled because of this search for so-called happiness.

I know of people who have spent the majority of their married life trying to please their partner, going along with every whim so as to see them content in what they desired.

I have seen husbands try to take leadership of the home to no avail because of a domineering wife pursuing her so called happiness (and vice versa).

I have seen couples break up and when asked why, the immediate answer was because, “I’m not Happy”, “I don’t love him anymore”, the latest phrase is, “He abused me.”

Well, who is happy anyway….all the time, I say?

Another question:

What is marriage?

Is it all about being happy?

Is that the criteria?

Is that the goal?

Is that why you married that person?

If all your ducks don’t line up does that mean all is lost?  Do you fantasise about someone else? Trade him/her in for a new model!  Maybe a rich millionaire will show me the world and give me the happiness I’m longing for!

After much soul searching and many deep personal experiences I have come to a very basic conclusion.  Life isn’t about being happy.  The bible talks about contentment, and joy.  Happiness is fleeting but joy is lasting.  To me it’s all about commitment and perseverance!  Overcoming obstacles together!

I believe so many worldly and demonic practises have been employed in Christendom.  We see so much ungodliness and it’s certainly not a spiritual thought pattern or process.  The bible doesn’t even come into play anymore, it seems.

Some people are so intelligent that they know absolutely nothing.  Ignorance is portrayed in their behaviour.  I’m sorry, you can tell me one thing but your action is telling me something else.  You can tell me you love God and put Him first but what you are doing each day says something completely different.  I guess the bible says it this way, “You judge them by their fruit.”  Time will tell, I say!

Let me write something to describe some wrong thinking.  Ultimately wrong thinking becomes wrong behaviour.  Wrong choices and heart breaking disappointments soon follow wrong behaviour.

Some calls it Relativism, meaning no absolute truth.  Rampant in the church of Jesus Christ!

Subjectivism

Rationalism

Post modernism, meaning there is no real truth

New age religion

Experimenting (The devil said to Eve…go on Eve, take it! Try it!

These and more describe what is going on in people’s lives, and in their thinking each day of the year.  Most times without them knowing these thought patterns are there, but the person doesn’t realize they are.

We have moved so far from biblical truth, the absolutes of the bible and then grapple with distorted truth and make excuses daily to explain ourselves away.

The truth is: Happiness comes out of being content.  The overflow or outcome of joy is a happy lifestyle and a person who is at peace with themselves, God and others. Joy=happiness.  Happiness is existential.  Joy is internal, from your spirit man.  Joy is a deep gratitude of the saving grace and forgiveness that Jesus gave through His death and resurrection.

I am filled with inner joy and peace because of my deep and real relationship with Jesus Christ.  This covers every sin committed past, present and future.  Sin will always have devastating effect on any human being, ultimately death, but because of His forgiveness I walk in complete joy, peace and happiness.

I reiterate happiness is not the goal.  Happiness is shallow.  Happiness can be a selfish pursuit never really being fulfilled.

Many people walk in hurt and bitterness which is the basis of selfishness.  Not getting what you want, maybe unmet expectations, leading to disappointment, hurt, offense and then bitterness.  The final result of uncontrolled bitterness is demon possession.

A self-indulgent, impure spirit has it basis in a self-indulgent life style.  Gimme!   Gimme!  Gimme!  Husbands are working excessive hours to provide the lifestyle and things that their wives are lusting for.  Only a few years after they have all the wants and desire they run off and take everything that has been worked for over many years leaving their partner desolate and confused to say the least.

Disloyally is rampant, some overt and some very subtle but it all stems from an independent spirit developed over many years.  This is the characteristic of an unhappy and ungodly person sometimes claiming righteousness but deep within the pages of their life is a chronic and devastating disorder.

Ungratefulness is in epidemic proportions to the point that people cannot keep up or fulfil their need for more and more.  The basis of ungratefulness is pride.  If you follow the path of pride in your life it will definitely lead to a basis of fear.

The bible says, God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love power and a sound mind.  Now, that sounds like, JOY.  That sounds like a happy person.  Love, power and a sound mind!  Content and fulfilled in every way!

When you walk the road of dishonesty and cultivate a poverty spirit, you can become extremely lazy and unproductive.

Self righteousness comes from a person who condemns themselves, beats themselves up but also condemns and judges others.  Constantly being critical of others!  This is not only a sad person but sadly a destroyed soul.  Outwardly they claim happiness but inwardly they are in turmoil, going from one purchase to another, one food group to another, one fashion store to another and in most cases relationships are severed.  One relationship to another, searching, looking, relentlessly pursuing…but to no avail!  Empty!  Wanting!

Don’t the words of Jesus mean much to us when He says “Take no thought of tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself.”   In fact it implies that Jesus attends the funeral of every sparrow that falls to the ground.  “Don’t be anxious!” ”Rejoice in the Lord, and again I say rejoice!

Isaiah says “Don’t eat food, drink and work for that which does not satisfy”.  I believe as we obey the word of God that says “To seek first the Kingdom of God” Everything we need will be provided which ensures us of joy, and happiness.

We are being changed from Glory to Glory!  Being transformed into His likeness!  It takes toughness, strength and fortitude to allow our character to be shaped and moulded into that beautiful and whole person that brings glory to God.  We are the clay, He is the potter!

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PC300052And so it had begun.  We were married!  The beginning of the rest of our lives was right there in front of us…not in the distance, but right there and we were walking into it!

Kyls had spent weeks researching the perfect spot for us to have our honeymoon…all 2 days of it!  Kylie had to go straight back to work so we wanted something that would be secluded, quiet, beautiful and cosy.  We had found a lovely little eco lodge on a bluff in the Coffin Bay area that was nestled on 100 acres.  It was far from anyone and serene enough to meet our needs for the weekend.

We arrived at the lovely little lodge to discover that the man who owned the place actually had a house on there too.  And, not just on the same property, but his house was under the extension that he had built as his eco lodge…THAT WE WERE STAYING IN!!!!

To make matters even funnier, it just so happened that his bedroom happened to be directly under our bedroom and living area.  Nice.

Such a friendly host, the poor gentleman didn’t quite get any of Kyls’s hints that it was our honeymoon…he just kept coming back to visit with us!  He was such a talkative chap, it was difficult to get a word in and make our point clear.

HONEYMOON.

NEWLYWEDS.

SECLUSION.

2 DAYS.

NO PEOPLE.

Nope.  Didn’t work!  The lovely man thought that we might be hungry and so he, generously and kindly, brought us up 2 bowls of delicious, fresh, homemade mushroom soup, with mushrooms that he had picked that morning from the paddocks around the house, and hot, crusty bread.  It really was great, but we really did just want some space and time to ourselves.  Surely, that was understandable!

The space was nice…there was a small living/dining/kitchen area, kind of like a cabin in a holiday park, a nice bedroom and an open bathroon with 270 degree windows….great view…if it was as secluded as we had thought!

Kyls decided that since it was so cold and since we’d not really had the opportunity to have a proper shower at the hotel (they gave us no clean towels..go figure!) she would shower now…especially since it seemed that the friendly host had finally left us in peace.

Showered and dry from a just warm shower, just like most girls, Kyls needed to dry her hair…out came the hair dryer and out went the power.  We were discovering fast that our perfect little eco lodge really meant – little power, low temperature heating and housing below!

Somehow, from out of nowhere, our friend, the chatting host, appeared!  He informed us that a hair dryer used too much power and so, with the weather having been so overcast recently the solar panels weren’t fully charged.  Ergo, we didn’t have very hot water and we had a limited power supply!  No more hairdryer for Kyls!

What a funny start to our marriage and honeymoon!

Over the two days, we enjoyed creative meals (we had very limited supplies and the closest shops was 1 hour away – and it was closed because it was a public holiday!), spurts of time with no power and lengths of timw with power.  Fortunately, Kyls had brought with us all of the candle that were left over from the wedding which meant that at night time, we at least had some light.

The gas heater was fan forced and so relied on the electricity that did and didn’t work.  Our laptop was our source of music, running on battery power.  Our little sink was our washing tub and the line downstairs, near the hosts room, was our washing line!  Our lovely wooden posted bed made more sounds than an old door in a scary movie…and that was just when we walked in the room!  The balcony, however, had a sensational view. It overlooked a peaceful little bay and early in the mornings we heard and saw native birds on the rails.  It was very romantic when we thought about it!

We figured that God was just exercsing His sense of humour and extending ours…we had to laugh or we could have been devastated.  But, Kyls being Kyls, made every moment fun and enjoyable.  We had a great time together (in spite of the power going off more that 7 times (I think) in 2 1/2 days!  We were able to appreciate and enjoy the solitude (eventually) and each other for a few precious moments before we came back to full time reality!

When we finally did arrive home, we walked in to a beautifully clean and inviting house.  Friends had organised a beautiful meal and there were more gifts to open.  Kyls unpacked…in our house…her house.

We were married.  We were one.  We were together, in our own home, delightfully happy and content.  At last.

Thank God.  Kylie’s Psalm, her word from God had finally come to pass for both of us…

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37:4